Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help peopleand societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It can be argued that professional athletes and sports
players
earn a lot of money without really helping either society or individuals in comparison with people
who work in other majors that include an obvious help to society like doctors and nurses. In my point of view, I definitely agree with this
statement because other occupations have more right to earn that money. The purpose of this
essay is to discuss why I am inclined to this
opinion and my reasons for it.
To begin
, there is no doubt that professional sports players
have an important role in our society but it does not mean that they should earn more than most other occupations. One of the key reasons why the government should pay more to people
who are working in majors such
as teachers is because they work in very tiring jobs, whereas
athletes spend their time playing and practising their hobbies. In addition
, doctors face numerous difficulties during their day from the patients to the hours they spend in hospitals. A good example of this
is provided recently in the pandemic when Coronavirus patients were
increasing and doctors were having a hard to Correct subject-verb agreement
was
control
that increase by curing as many patients as they could.
Wrong verb form
controlling
On the other hand
, athletes can entertain people
and excite them only. Meanwhile, construction workers are working under very bad conditions without being paid half of these players
' salaries. Furthermore
, being underpaid can result in people
acquit of
many necessary jobs.
Correct your spelling
acquiring
To conclude
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that sports players
should have the same amount of money as other occupations or less.Submitted by Retaaji72 on
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Try to include more relevant examples to make your arguments stronger. Specific examples not only substantiate your points but also make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully. Some points are introduced but not explored in depth. This could help in achieving higher scores in both task achievement and coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The organization of ideas makes it easier to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating your position and outlining the purpose of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your transitions between paragraphs are smooth, helping to maintain the flow of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.