IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the present age,
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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social media become the medium of communication. Some people believe that
use
Correct article usage
the use

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of these social
medias
Correct your spelling
media

It appears that the noun medias is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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 impacting in
harmful
Change the article
a harmful

It appears that the article usage in the phrase harmful way is incorrect. Consider making a change.

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 way to the young people,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others believe it is a
greate
Correct your spelling
great

If you don’t want greate to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

way to build relationships. Personally, I am in favour of the latter view.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these social
medias
Correct your spelling
media

It appears that the noun medias is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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 consume so much amount of time. A person who is using is not aware
how
Change preposition
of how

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 much time it is taking.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some young people are so
addictive
Replace the word
addicted

The word addictive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 to these sites that they forget to sleep sometimes.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, using these sites without time monitoring can be dangerous.

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Task Achievement
The essay shows a limited ability to address the task. You should fully address the prompt and present a clear position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Work on developing a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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