IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It’s more important for school children to learn about their local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#it’s #school #children #history #world
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It is often argued that learning at
school
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 about local traditions should be preferred to lecturing about
world
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history
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.
Although
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 I agree that educating
children
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 to
study
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 what occurred to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings in general, I think that the
school
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, as
public
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a public
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 entity, should devote more time to help
family
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families
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into preserving
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to preserve
show examples
 local customs and usages. On the one hand, it is important for
school
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children
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 to go through their customs and to have teachers with the proper willingness to play a significant role in keeping dialects and practices. That means, the educators, several times coming from other places, have the responsibility to be integrated into the surrounding area. What’s more,
children
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 should have at
school
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 the chance to
study
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, at least, the main historical monuments of their city to be prepared, once they become
adult
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adults
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, to give value to and take advantage of what their town offers to the visitors. From my perspective, I had foreign teachers, sometimes coming from other places
of
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in
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 Italy that did not know anything about Ravenna, the city where I was born and raised.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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 crucial for
school
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children
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 to
study
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the
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apply
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world
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history
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 since it helps to look up their mindset, to appreciate other cultures and attitudes. Teachers dedicate time to explain what occurred to human beings from the birth of the first man, the primitive man to
the
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apply
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world
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 war
the
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apply
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second. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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this
Linking Words
 approach helps or should help a lot to keep focused in mind
the
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on the
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 main mistakes made by people
along
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throughout
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the
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apply
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history
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 to avoid their repetition.
However
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, what has been happening in Ukraine since February 2022 disappoints me and
demonstrate
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demonstrates
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 that neither knowing the past events protect people to do again some sort of bad acts.
To conclude
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, though I agree that it is basically important for
children
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 to
study
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world
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history
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 at
school
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 to understand other cultures in general and some mistakes made in the past by human beings, I think that both keeping local traditions,
dialets
Correct your spelling
dialects
dialect
, customs and giving
this
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 kind of responsibility to the
school
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 play an essential role in education.
Submitted by nicolavistoli on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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