The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand

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The charts illustrate data about online shopping

sales

Use synonyms

in New Zealand in both 2003 and 2013.

Overall

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, it can be seen that in 2003, the travel sector had the greatest

percentage

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of online

sales

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, but in 2013, it experienced a decrease of 29%. All categories showed changes in their

percentage

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of online

sales

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over the years. Taking a closer look, in 2003, clothes had the second-highest

percentage

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of online

sales

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at 24%.

However

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, film and music accounted for 21%, which was a very similar result. In 2013, the

sales

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of books increased slightly, reaching 22%.

This

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rise

also

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happened in the sector of film and music, which increased by more than 10% in their online

sales

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in New Zealand. Unfortunately, the sector of clothes

also

Linking Words

experienced a decline in 2013, losing almost 10% of its

sales

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, dropping from 24% to 16%. Travel online

sales

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reached their peak at 36% in 2003, which was the highest

percentage

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in both pie charts."

Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on Sun Mar 12 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, percentage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Comparative analysis
E-commerce
Retail sectors
Growth rate
Decade
Decline
Trends
Online transactions
Consumer behavior
Market share
Significant increase/decrease
Digital era
Accessibility
User-friendly platform
Market dynamics
Predictive outlook

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more. To what extent do you agree or disagree.