IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, ​ however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #cell #phones #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the
people
Use synonyms
. Society's
people
Use synonyms
 are divided into two groups and
therefore
Linking Words
, mobile usage has become a topic of debate among
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions
along with
Linking Words
 my opinion which is in the favour of former view will discuss in a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought,
firstly
Linking Words
, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 penetrated human life
due to
Linking Words
 increased usage of technology.
People
Use synonyms
 who supported
this
Linking Words
 say that mobile plays a vital role in communicating with loved ones across the globe. It
also
Linking Words
 becomes mandatory equipment to complete routine activities like bill payments, online shopping and many more.
For example
Linking Words
, a study conducted in Hong Kong reveals that there are more active mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 than the population. in fact, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 should be used for personal purposes only and avoid all other purposes. On the contrasting side,
people
Use synonyms
 who held another viewpoint say that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 become an integral part of the corporate workspace because of two-factor authentication and various other reasons. They believe one can use mobiles to complete their work by sending emails, providing approvals and attending meetings.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as technology evolves around mobile apps, the younger generation coming up with innovative ideas and creating sensations in the telecom industry.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would like to say that, mobile phone usage should be reduced by limiting it to personal purposes.
However
Linking Words
, it will depend upon the mindsets of
people
Use synonyms
 which view they are in favour of.
Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: