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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school, while others believe parents should transport their children to school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s society, the issue of
children
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’s education has sparked widespread discussion, particularly regarding who should be responsible for transporting
children
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 to
school
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. Some people believe that
this
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 is the
government
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’s
responsibility
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,
while
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 others argue that
parents
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 should take on
this
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 duty.
This
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 essay will explore both viewpoints and provide my opinion.
Firstly
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, those who support the idea of the
government
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 being responsible for transporting
children
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 to
school
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 argue that
this
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 is a public service that the
government
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 should provide. Many working
parents
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 have very tight schedules and cannot pick up and drop off their
children
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 every day. The
government
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 can alleviate the burden on
parents
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 by offering
school
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 bus
services
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, which is especially important for families living far from schools.
Furthermore
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,
government
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 involvement can ensure the safety of
children
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, as professional
school
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 bus
services
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 typically adhere to safety standards, reducing the risk of traffic accidents.
Secondly
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,
government
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responsibility
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 for transporting
children
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 to
school
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 can promote educational equity.
Government
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-provided transportation
services
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 can ensure that all
children
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 have equal opportunities to attend
school
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, regardless of their family background. For families with lower economic conditions,
parents
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 may not be able to afford transportation costs, which could affect their
children
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’s access to education.
However
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, those who oppose
this
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 view argue that
parents
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 should be responsible for picking up and dropping off their
children
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, as
this
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 is an important part of family life. Many
parents
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 believe that the process of accompanying their
children
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 to and from
school
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 is a great opportunity to strengthen their relationship. During
this
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 time,
parents
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 can communicate with their
children
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, understanding their
school
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 life and emotional needs, which is crucial for the
children
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’s mental health and emotional development.
Additionally
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, allowing
children
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 to go to
school
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 independently can help grow their independence and sense of
responsibility
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. As
children
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 grow older, they need to learn how to face life’s challenges on their own, and
such
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 an experience will help them become more confident and mature in future. In conclusion,
while
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 the
government
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 can alleviate the burden on
parents
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 by providing transportation
services
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, I believe that the ultimate
responsibility
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 lies with the
parents
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.
Parents
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 can not only ensure their
children
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's safety but
also
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 enhance their relationship with their
children
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 and foster their independence in the process.
Therefore
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, both the
government
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 and families should work together to create a safe and convenient environment for
children
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 to attend
school
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.

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content
Add one or two more exact points to show why bus travel helps kids, like how it saves time or how it helps kids get to class on time.
coherence
Use clear order words to show flow, for example 'first', 'second', 'in addition', 'finally'.
style
Keep words simple and easy; avoid long or hard words.
structure
The essay states both sides and has a clear own view at the end.
content
Link to safety and fairness is well shown.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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