Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. Do you agree or disagree?

#societies #mixture #peoples #country

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It can be argued that multicultural

societies

where you can find

people

from different backgrounds have more positive effects than negative effects on a

country

. In my point of view, I completely agree with

this

statement because multiculturalism

made

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

people

and countries closer to each other. The purpose of

this

essay is to discuss why I am inclined to

this

opinion.

To begin

, there are many various cultures around the world, and having a society that can combine some of them will definitely benefit the

country

and the citizens.

For example

people

will be more open-minded about educating their selves about new cultures.

Furthermore

, it can help citizens to have friends from other ethnic backgrounds.

However

, one of the key benefits of multiculturalism is that

people

can share useful information that could help with the

country

’s development.

On the other hand

, no one can deny that there is a decrease in the general rates of discrimination in multicultural

societies

in comparison with other

societies

In other words

people

are becoming more accepting and educated about different races because children in these

societies

are growing up, knowing and respecting other kids from other countries and races.

Nevertheless

, it can

also

help improve the

country

by having skilled workers who know how to do their jobs perfectly. A good example of

this

is provided by Kuwait which hosts

people

from all over the world and gives them the opportunity to work which resulted in a huge development in the

country

. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion,

to sum up

, I would like to reiterate my opinion that multiculturalism has numerous advantages to the

country

and individuals.

Submitted by Retaaji72 on Sun Mar 12 2023

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task response

Your opinion is clearly stated and supported throughout the essay, which shows a good level of task response. However, make sure to address the opposing viewpoint as well to achieve a higher score in task response.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured and organized, but there are some areas where the logical structure could be improved. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that they are logically linked together to improve coherence.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multiculturalism
cultural diversity
economic prosperity
social cohesion
integration
cultural assimilation
ethnic diversity
cultural exchange
global influence
inclusive governance

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Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

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Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

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