Recently, the retail company you work for has been losing customers to a competitor. The company is setting up a scheme to encourage customers to stay with the company. Your boss has asked you to write a letter to the customers on your database outlining this customer loyalty scheme. Write the letter to your customers: •describing the benefits for customers of the loyalty scheme • explaining what customers must do to join the scheme • giving details of a special promotion to launch the scheme • reminding customers of the quality of your goods.

#company #work #customers #competitor #scheme #boss #database #customer #loyalty #promotion #quality #goods

Dear Sir My name is Vy. I'm

co-worker

Correct article usage

a co-worker

show examples

from the BBC company. I'm writing to let you know that

this

customer loyalty scheme will organize on 23, Mel street

Change preposition

show examples

13, march, 2023. I would like to tell you about some benefits

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

program.

Firstly

, we have a new product line and send it to you for trial free.

Besides

that, we have some special gifts for loyal

customers

Secondly

, we have a concert for grateful when you stay with us since the company

stated

Correct your spelling

started

show examples

business.

This

celeration

Correct your spelling

celebration

hold

Correct subject-verb agreement

holds

show examples

on and save the memories for us. I would like to overview and give some details

Change preposition

about

show examples

event

Correct article usage

the event

show examples

Firstly

, we need to introduce our company.

Secondly

, we have music.

Finnaly

Correct your spelling

Finally

, we will talk about a new product line. The new product line will release market on the next month. We would like to bring

the

Change preposition

out the

show examples

best

for

Change preposition

show examples

customers

and help

customers

to have

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life. It's good quality and help

customers

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

detox and release

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

thing from their body. I hope you can join

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

us and

i'm

Change the capitalization

I'm

show examples

looking forward to hearing from you. Please let me know

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if you join

this

program as I attached

file

Correct article usage

the file

show examples

below. Thanks and regards Vy Nguyen

Submitted by nguyenhungvy090499 on Mon Mar 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

204 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The rise of social media has effected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's digital era human connections are profoundly affected by the rise in popularity of social media. This author argues that the benefits of connecting people and dating online outweigh the drawback of potential cyber violence.
4.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers.
With the growing development of self-driving cars, it has been predicted that other means of transport, namely bus and trucks, will also be driverless. Whilst this may mean more convenience for the passenger, I personally believe that there will be much more dangers if this concept was applied to society.
<4
band
some people believe that punishing the criminals helps to decrease the crime but criminals keeps on committing the crime even after they were punished . what may be the reason and what can be done to decrease such activities ?
The first part of the process involves posting the job advertisement and
4
band
Some people believe that children should attend extra classes after school while some disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.
Over the years, extra lessons has become popular, It is debatable whether a child should go for lessons after school or not. There are pro and cons for both sides. In this essay I will outline the benefits and drawbacks for extra classes.
7
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do u agree or disagree?
It is true that rich countries usually help poorer ones with some financial support. However, I do not believe this is the proper solution for poverty and rich countries should find another alternative to tackle this problem. This essay will present arguments to support my opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The rise of social media has effected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers.

some people believe that punishing the criminals helps to decrease the crime but criminals keeps on committing the crime even after they were punished . what may be the reason and what can be done to decrease such activities ?

Some people believe that children should attend extra classes after school while some disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do u agree or disagree?