You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: These days many people prefer online shopping to conventional shopping. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #people

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Nowadays, more and more people have changed their shopping styles from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

in-store shopping to online purchasing. There are sort of advantages and

disadvantages

Use synonyms

e-commerce

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

but

show examples

I believe that the advantage of

on-line

Correct your spelling

online

show examples

shopping outweighs the backwards. Many people may argue that

e-commerce

Use synonyms

has brought negative impacts

Change preposition

show examples

our lives. The numbers of

identify

Wrong verb form

identified

show examples

crimes are surging worldwide, and they impact the financial issues from

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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to business organizations. To

further

Linking Words

elaborate, people’s private information,

such

Linking Words

the

Change the word

their

show examples

official name, telephone numbers,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ID number, and Credit card numbers are easily

access

Wrong verb form

accessed

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

third parties.

This

Linking Words

information is easily stolen by hackers and indecent staff and

pass

Wrong verb form

passed

show examples

by to criminals no matter how secure the website is.

However

Linking Words

, despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

disadvantages

Use synonyms

mentioned above, I believe that the benefits of online shopping are more than

Use synonyms

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, for

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

, it is convenient to shop online because customers can reduce time and money

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

due to

Linking Words

commuting.

Also

Linking Words

, it is efficient to receive informative price matches online at once

instead

Linking Words

of checking the prices store by store.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it can reduce the possibility of virus

contagione

Correct your spelling

contagion

contagious

contagions

due to

Linking Words

physical contact during

pandemic

Add an article

the pandemic

show examples

of COVID-19. For

business

Add an article

a business

show examples

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

e-commerce

Use synonyms

can decrease the cost

Change preposition

show examples

renting or hiring staff in a physical store. It can bring more profits to companies. In conclusion, even though some people may think online shopping has brought negative impacts

for

Change preposition

show examples

people’s lives, particularly identity crimes, I believe that the advantages of

e-commerce

Use synonyms

outweigh the

disadvantages

Use synonyms

, and these crimes can be prevented via mandatory policies from governments to business

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

, and proper behaves of customers when shopping online.

Submitted by jackson05234 on Mon Mar 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

conventional shopping
prefer
advantages
disadvantages
online shopping
convenience
time-saving
wide range
competitive prices
accessible
comparison
lack of
physical experience
delayed delivery
potential
fraud
limited customer service
dependence
technology
impersonal
shopping experience

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The rise of social media had affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?