IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #summerise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about what Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 did after finishing their undergraduate course. The second table
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates how much money they earn after 5 years of
work
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the majority of Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 were employed full-time. When it comes to their salaries, over 50% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 earn at least $75,000 regardless of their type of employment. Looking at the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, after studying Anthropology
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university, 52% of
students
Use synonyms
 got
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
 job. As for the
students
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 temporary jobs, they take up 20% including 5% of
students
Use synonyms
 who pursue
master
Add an article
the master
a master
show examples
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, 12% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 are not currently working.
Next,
Linking Words
the table
chart
Use synonyms
 shows that 80%
Use synonyms
graduates
Change preposition
of graduates
show examples
 who
work
Use synonyms
 as freelance consultants make at least $75,000 after 5 years of
work
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
 for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector
earns
Correct subject-verb agreement
earn
show examples
 the most. 50% of them earn more than $100,000 in the same timeframe.
Finally
Linking Words
, private company employees who earn between $50,000 and 74,999 take up 35%,
whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
 10% of them make $49,999 maximum.
Submitted by 98shs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, graduates, work, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: