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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should follow their parents’ advice, however, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #parents’ #advice
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Some people claim that kids do not know the proper direction to choose,
Use synonyms
parents
Add the comma(s)
,parents
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 play a role in giving instructions and recommendations to their
children
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,
while
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 others think that it is not necessary. In
this
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 essay, I agree with the topic and I will discuss both views and give my opinions in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, almost
parents
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 have been passed through many problems in their lives.
This
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 is because they had learnt from the past when they were a child.
As a result
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, when they have a child, they offer effective advice to their
children
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 and lead them to be a good adult in the future.
For instance
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, the
parents
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 have good qualities in their life,
this
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 is because of hard studying and having a proper education from their
parents
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.
Therefore
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, they require to do
this
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 method with their kids as well.
Consequently
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,
children
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 can obviously see in their
parents
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' life and want to be like them in the right ways.
On the other hand
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, if some people are bad guys and give wrong instructions to
children
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then
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,
children
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 follow
in
Change preposition
apply
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worse
advising
Replace the word
advice
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, leading to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 wrong way.
This
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 is
due to
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children
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Add the comma(s)
,
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not
sufficient
Add a missing verb
having sufficient
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 knowledge and experience as much as adults, if they completely trust in wrong recommendations, perhaps they might lead in a dangerous direction.
Therefore
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, all of the
parents
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' advice is not always correct.
Otherwise
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,
children
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 should be conscious of
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 thinking and logic. In summary, it can be emphasized that despite
children
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 believing
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parents'
Correct pronoun usage
their parents'
show examples
 instructions, it might be advantages and disadvantages depending on logic. I personally agree with
children
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 should follow their
parents
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' advice because
parents
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 always give benefits direction and opportunities to their
children
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.
Submitted by evetanyaporn on

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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