Many museums charge admission fee while others are free. Do the advantage of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantage?

#museums #charge #admission #fee #advantage #people #visit #museum

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Museums

Use synonyms

are one of the most important

part

Change to a plural noun

parts

show examples

of every

Use synonyms

countries

Change to a singular noun

country

show examples

to show their

culture

Use synonyms

and ancient times.Meanwhile,some

Use synonyms

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

around the world

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

no permission fee.On contrary,some

museums

Use synonyms

have

entry

Add an article

an entry

show examples

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

.I think there are some merits and demerits

Change preposition

show examples

both of them.I am going to discuss both in

this

Linking Words

essay with some

releavant

Correct your spelling

relevant

examples. On the one hand,some

museums

Use synonyms

in many

countries

Use synonyms

charging

Wrong verb form

charge

show examples

for permission.The reason is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they need

money

Use synonyms

to spend

for

Change preposition

show examples

rehabilitation

Correct article usage

the rehabilitation

show examples

and reconstruction of the historical places or

museums

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

they should hire

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

staff to keep the

museum

Use synonyms

clean and provide the safety

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

museum

Use synonyms

.As we know,

museums

Use synonyms

keep numerous

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of valuable objects

such

Linking Words

as photos,

painting

Fix the agreement mistake

paintings

show examples

gold

Correct word choice

and gold

show examples

or traditional clothes that they remained from our ancestors.They are worthy and valuable for each

culture

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

,in some cases when

people

Use synonyms

do not pay

money

Use synonyms

for entrance they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

understand how the

museums

Use synonyms

can be valuable.

For example

Linking Words

,around the

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

there are many

people

Use synonyms

who enter free

museums

Use synonyms

and because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

staff

Change preposition

of staff

show examples

observation

Add a comma

,observation

show examples

they harm or scratch valuable

object

Fix the agreement mistake

objects

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

,every

Use synonyms

countries

Fix the agreement mistake

country

show examples

or city can gain benefits when they offer facilities to their tourist.

Firstly

Linking Words

,every part of the world has its own

culture

Use synonyms

and custom.Every society

exposure

Replace the word

exposed

show examples

some parts of its

culture

Use synonyms

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

museum

Use synonyms

.If their

museum

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

free they can encourage

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

to come to their

countries

Use synonyms

and being familiar with their

culture

Use synonyms

and in

this

Linking Words

way tourists spend

money

Use synonyms

different

Add an article

the different

show examples

sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

show examples

in host

countries

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

museums

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

,many poor

people

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are interested to see

museums

Use synonyms

but they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

have much

money

Use synonyms

to spend on

museums

Use synonyms

or historical places.When

museums

Use synonyms

are free all

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

different

money

Use synonyms

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

can experience

enjoyable

Add an article

an enjoyable

the enjoyable

show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

when they see

Add an article

the

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

museum

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

,the best way to save

museums

Use synonyms

healthy and safe we

need

Add the particle

toneed

show examples

spend

money

Use synonyms

on them,the best way to survive them is

charging

Change the verb form

to charge

show examples

small and moderate

money

Use synonyms

from visitors to let

people

Use synonyms

enjoy seeing

Use synonyms

Add an article

the museum

show examples

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

keeping

Wrong verb form

keep

show examples

them intact at the same time.

Submitted by marzieh.kiani on Mon Mar 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Many museums charge admission fee while others are free. Do the advantage of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantage?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than before. Why is this happening, and what could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption.

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can government and individuals take to tackle the issue.