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Band 2.5

Multiculturism makes people come closer. Do you agree?

#multiculturism #people
It can be argued that multicultural societies where you can find
people
 from different ethnic backgrounds have more positive effects than negative effects on a country. In my point of view, I completely agree with
this
 statement because multiculturalism
made
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
people
 and countries closer to each other. The purpose of
this
 essay is to discuss why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am inclined to
this
 opinion.
To begin
, there are various cultures around the world, and having a society that
combine
Change the verb form
combines
show examples
 some of them will definitely benefit the country and
citizens
Correct pronoun usage
its citizens
show examples
.
For example
,
people
 will be more open-minded in educating themselves about new cultures.
Furthermore
, it can help citizens to have friends from other ethnic backgrounds.
However
, one of the key benefits of multiculturalism is that
people
 can share useful information that could help with the country's development. 1
On the other hand
, no one can deny that there is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
show examples
 in the general rates of discrimination in multicultural societies
Submitted by sayedmuhammadmusa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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