IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to work in the same type of job throughout their lifetime while others like to change the type of job they do. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #type #job #lifetime #change
It has been argued by many individuals that
people
 should
work
 in the same field which they are doing
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 past time,
whereas
 opponents reckon that alteration in occupation is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
essential. I favour the former perspective;
however
,
this
 essay shall dwell on both viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs
along with
 a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, the fundamental benefit of doing
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in the same domain throughout their lifetime is that commoners might earn huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of capital. The majority of human beings have been successful in their life as they do
work
 regularly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one sector as employers enhance their income yearly.
As a result
, they do not leave their job.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in India 75% of the
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
 are doing
work
 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 department because they have fully satisfied.
Due to
this
, I favour the same.
On the other hand
, the prominent advantage of changing jobs which the public
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
is that humans may not only proliferate experience but
also
 communication skills. When
people
 replace their job, they would acquire different types of techniques
such
 as team spirit, increase
confidence
Add an article
the confidence
show examples
 level and many more things because they meet new labours after
exchange
Wrong verb form
exchanging
show examples
 their
work
.
For example
, it is published article by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 45% of employees are changing field of the
work
 in their life because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they want to learn the latest knowledge and how to talk with strangers.
To conclude
,
although
people
 might incline
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 experience and
socializing
Replace the word
social
show examples
 skills, I personally believe that
people
 can get
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
sum
Fix the agreement mistake
sums
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money, so they do not change their posts.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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