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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension
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Some individuals believe that it is not reasonable for seniors who get retired at the age of 65 no matter what their jobs are. They argued that in some particular job positions, the employees can stop working and receive their pension whenever they want. I totally agree with the latter statement and will discuss the reasons in
this
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 essay. First of all, for those unskilled workers, early retirement is a good way for them to recover and maintain their health. Obviously, when general labourers join the workplace, they spend most of their working
time
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 doing hard tasks
such
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 as moving or lifting heavy things. If
this
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 condition has been continuing for a long
time
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, it creates numerous negative effects on their bones and health when the workers become old.
In addition
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, many people regardless of occupation argue that they want to be retired before 65 years old so that they have more
time
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 for their families. They explain that when they were young, they had to work hard to earn enough money for covering their living cost and for savings.
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, after a long
time
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 working and accumulating savings, they realize that money is no longer a big concern for them.
Instead
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 of that, they are thinking more about the holidays with their family and hope that the whole family can spend
time
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 together as much as possible. In conclusion, the best age for employees to be retired depends on their job positions and purposes in their life.
Therefore
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, a fixed retirement scheme does not work at all.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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