Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect

Video

games

often

Add a missing verb

are often

show examples

considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

stress

relieved

Replace the word

relief

show examples

for some people. Some

video

games

also

provide educational purposes to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gamers. Despite the advantages

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

given

Add the auxiliary verb

are given

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

playing

video

games

, some others

also

believe that

video

games

bring harmful effects to the users. In

this

essay, I will explain why

video

games

provide more benefits than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drawbacks to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gamers. First of all, the benefit of

video

games

is for leisure purposes. We know that not many people could afford luxury

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

or buy tickets to go on holiday. For these people,

games

are the easiest way to relieve their stress since

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be accessed from their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

or gadget.

Games

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

useful not only for entertainment but

also

for educational purposes. Nowadays, a lot of game developers make

games

for children and put some lessons in there. Most

games

also

use

english

Change the capitalization

English

show examples

as the language, so it is very useful for children to increase their

english

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English

show examples

skills.

On the contrary

, playing too many

video

games

also

could harm our bodies. When playing

video

games

, our postures tend to stand still for a long period, and sometimes we do bad positions.

This

will not affect our body in the short run, but in the long term, it is not good for our muscles and bones. Our eyesight could

also

get worse if we stare too long when playing

video

games

because of the radiation from the screen.

Overall

, I believe that the benefits provided by playing

video

games

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more than the drawbacks. Despite it may bring some negative impacts on our bodies, playing

video

games

could be leisure activities and educational tools for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

users.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurant and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

some people think that government should give high salary to the celebrities but others think it should be provided to doctors and teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Environmental problems are too great to be managed by individuals. Real change can only be made at the government level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days the fashions in clothing are constantly changing. Is this affecting individuals and the environment in a positive or a negative way? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.