Social media websites have amused large user bases. Do the advantages of being a part of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #websites #user #bases #part

this

contemporary era, mass media pages are the most part of

human's

Change noun form

human

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life. They become amused

Change preposition

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

websites,

however

, there are some negative impacts in the

missusing

Correct your spelling

misusing

of them. In

this

essay, I would

metion

Correct your spelling

mention

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages of using these platforms. To commence with,

firstly

, a lot of people have many opportunities to show themselves or their services and goods to others,

for example

selling their

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

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and painting without having any special galleries or showing their acts and abilities to become famous. In continue, for the second advantage, I can mention making hobbies for elder people,

for instance

grand parents

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grandparents

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can spend their time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching funny video clips and get amused.

Thirdly

, everyone can read news

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show examples

social media and be up-to-date about events around the world.

On the other hand

, in order to

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

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of social

media

Add a comma

,media

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I can notice some reasons, as a shining example health problems are the biggest

crisises

Correct your spelling

crisis

that you can see in people who watch these websites. either physical or mental problems. Staying inactive makes everyone sick,

such

heart

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with heart

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and brain diseases and obesity or depressing as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental

injouries

Correct your spelling

injuries

Wasing

Correct your spelling

Wasting

time is one other bad effect, in fact, you do not achieve

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any important thing if you see a funny video clip, in

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

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, you

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

just

loose

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lose

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your life and gain nothing. In conclusion, online social pages have some positive and negative points in our

life

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lives

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and we must manage them to use

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

benefits without

loosing

Replace the word

losing

show examples

anything.

Submitted by arsalan.azizzadeh on Tue Mar 14 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media websites have amused large user bases. Do the advantages of being a part of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?