IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #home #be #case #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some cultures, owning a
house
Use synonyms
 is a prominent purpose for
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of folks and they prefer to purchase a
house
Use synonyms
 rather than being
Add an article
a tenant
show examples
tenant
Fix the agreement mistake
tenants
show examples
. I see
Linking Words
this phenomena
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
show examples
 as a logical decision and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will scrutinize various angles of
this
Linking Words
 concept. To commence with, if someone has enough
money
Use synonyms
 to buy a
house
Use synonyms
 it will be so beneficial to do that
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 he will not pay extra
money
Use synonyms
 to someone else as rent and he can save
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 and use it for other purposes and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 the only benefit,
also
Linking Words
 by purchasing a
house
Use synonyms
 he
invest
Change the verb form
invests
show examples
 in some significant class of assets with the tiny amount of depreciation that can be sold and change to cash in a short time.
on the other hand
Linking Words
 in investment
wise
Add a comma
,wise
show examples
 the price of houses grow Every year in most countries and that makes buying a
house
Use synonyms
 a smart choice.
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 people can adopt
this
Linking Words
 approach as a shield
againts
Correct your spelling
against
 inflation to save their capital.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
 those who probably do not have enough
money
Use synonyms
 for owning a
house
Use synonyms
 can get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 loan from banks and pay
installments
Change the spelling
instalments
show examples
 rather than paying the
money
Use synonyms
 as rent
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the bright side is that they will be
Add an article
the owner
show examples
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
 of the
house
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Correct article usage
the installments
show examples
installments
Change the spelling
instalments
show examples
 and they
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 pay anymore. All in all my bias on
this
Linking Words
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
 is obvious and I am one of the
proponent
Change to a plural noun
proponents
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
 of some groups for being
Add an article
an owner
show examples
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
 rather than paying rent is comprehensible and in a financial
sight
Add a comma
,sight
show examples
 it can be known as the most general and feasible financial decision all around the world.
Submitted by arsalan.azizzadeh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: