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Band 6.5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#cultures #children
Nowadays, some parents believe that
children
 are often told about they can achieve something if they try their better.
This
Change preposition
In this
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 essay I will discuss the pros and cons of giving
kids
this
 message. On the one hand, an advantage of
achieve
Change the verb form
achieving
show examples
 the goal if
children
 work hard is that it could
be promote
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
children
’s motivation. It encourages them to try their best to achieve the goal that they want.
Children
 will put more effort into what they are doing to have an achievement.
For example
, Peter’s academic
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
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 always stay on the
last
 of the class. His mother hopes his son to try his better to do some revision and gets a pass
in
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on
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 the exam. She promised peter that gave him an iPhone as a gift to encourage Peter
working
Change the verb form
to work
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 hard on his study.
Finally
, he got a good grade
in
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on
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 the exam.
Thus
,
present
Wrong verb form
presenting
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 as a prize could
be motivate
Change the verb form
motivate
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children
 to work hard.
On the other hand
, a disadvantage of
achieve
Change the verb form
achieving
show examples
 anything if adolescents try hard enough is that it could
be develop
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
 a negative impact when they are facing
fail
Replace the word
failure
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. It might damage
children
’s self-esteem with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fake hope.
kids
 trust that they could do it when they face something impossible.
For instance
, telling
kids
 who are deaf
due to
 an accident that they could hear the music again if they are trying hard. It provides an illusion to them. After that, it might cause mental damage if the deaf knows the truth.
Therefore
,
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 anything
to
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for
show examples
children
 may create a false appearance. In conclusion,
kids
 being encouraged to try harder become more
motivative
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motivated
show examples
.
However
, it may provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
false hope to them. We should get a balance on it. (284)
Submitted by anniekaka1993 on

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