IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think the lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #talents #work
Some advocate putting highly talented lawbreakers back to work
instead
 of sentencing them the same as others. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 view. Proponents of returning intelligent wrongdoers to the workforce believe that they can continue to contribute to society and the nation's economy. Offenders who have committed minor crimes can be sent to community service agencies where they can pass on their knowledge or act as living examples to warn the public of the negative consequences of their offensive behaviour.
In addition
, those technical and mechanical professionals can be integrated into the manufacturing industry and guide newcomers to the industry or serve as on-site assistants.
However
, I believe that we should not discriminate in the treatment of all offenders. It is a common belief that indiscrimination in the legal system constitutes a stable society. As a symbol of authority and equality, laws grant equal rights and protection to all segments of the population
while
 punishing them without special privileges.
Therefore
, sentencing offenders who commit similar criminal acts differently can harm regulatory power and reduce people's trust in the law, which in turn increases the likelihood of crime. When people learn that their talent can be used to trade away some of their freedom or to claim exemptions from prison sentences, it can significantly reduce their self-discipline and willingness to obey laws.
In addition
, highly gifted lawbreakers who are allowed to return to work are more prone to re-offend because they have the ability to avoid supervision by authorities. In summary, some believe it is a waste of intelligence to put gifted criminals in prison, but I believe that in order to protect and maintain social order, we should not allow exceptions when faced with similar crimes.
Submitted by c.chengzhe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: