In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to imporse a higher tax on this kind of food. TO what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In several nations, fast food is affecting the health of people.
Consequently
Linking Words
, is necessary for governments to create of duty for
this
Linking Words
kind of food.
this
Linking Words
essay totally agrees with that statement. I consider the expense of fast food may help people to decrease their intake of them.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the high cost of unhealthy snacks helps to decline consumption. When individuals have to spend a large amount of money on snacks they may consider another option more healthy and cheaper.
For example
Linking Words
, in Colombia soft drinks have an extra price,
this
Linking Words
law has had a great contribution to individuals who are suffering from strong health problems because Colombians are avoiding sodas.
According to
Linking Words
the mentioned above, taxes may be a crucial route to help individuals choose healthy aliments.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the taxes generated may be spent on programs of education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, education is a crucial step for the population to know the damage to the body done by a hamburger. If the population have information about the danger of eating pizza, they will think that it is not a good option for them.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are many educational programs in Bogota about the consequences that have drinking Coca-Cola,
hence
Linking Words
, the consumption of
this
Linking Words
kind of drink has declined.
Finally
Linking Words
, a person with information could prefer to eat vegetables
instead
Linking Words
of a pizza.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the ministry should impose a higher tax on hamburgers and soft drinks and create new laws of information.
This
Linking Words
way may help citizens to make better decisions about their feeding.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
The introduction should have clearer structure and refine the thesis statement to explicitly state your position. Consider providing a brief overview of your main points as well.
Conclusion
In your conclusion, reiterate your main argument more effectively, rather than introducing new ideas. This will strengthen your overall argument.
Examples
Include more specific examples or statistics that relate directly to the impact of taxes on fast food consumption. This will enhance the overall argument.
Language
Improve sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. Proofreading your work can help eliminate errors that distract from your points.
Argument
You effectively highlight the connection between higher prices and decreased consumption of unhealthy foods, which is a solid argument.
Examples
Your use of examples related to Colombia and Bogota adds a personal touch and relevance to the discussion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: