Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #cities #people’s #health

Some

people

think that urban residents are unhealthy when compared to

people

who live in rural

areas

. Pollutions caused by transport and industries in city sides are enormous. I strongly agree that

people

couldn't live healthier in

cities

This

essay will discuss my opinions in detail.

Firstly

It is clear that

the population in urban

areas

are extremely high in recent days. Most of the

people

who reside in bigger

cities

are wealthy.

For instance

, Rich

people

hesitate to travel in public

transports

Fix the agreement mistake

transport

show examples

such

busses

Correct your spelling

buses

show examples

, trains, and autos and they prefer their own vehicles even for their shorter rides.

In addition

cities

are mostly comprised of industrial sectors, which produce

wide

Add an article

the wide

a wide

show examples

amount of toxins from wastes.

Moreover

Purity

Correct article usage

the Purity

show examples

of rivers and lakes in

cities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

spoiled by

outcome

Add an article

the outcome

show examples

of these wastes.

Secondly

, Rural

areas

have fewer industries and populations when compared to big

cities

. Residents in rural

areas

are

comparitvely

Correct your spelling

comparatively

healthier than urban residents.

For example

, 90 per cent of the village consists of greeneries and water sources, which allows

people

to breathe fresh air.

Furthermore

people

consume only hygienic foods directly after harvesting them.

By contrast

, Communities in metropolitan

cities

aren't eating fresh foods, because the foods they purchase in supermarkets are stored for more than a month after harvesting. Despite

this

, Many folks prefer to live in bigger

cities

for their job prospects. In conclusion,

people

should evacuate industries and unwanted technologies from urban

areas

to live without any fear of medical complications that will arise in the future.

People

should practice walking for shorter distances to avoid unnecessary pollution caused by vehicles.

Submitted by ananthaprasanth on Tue Mar 14 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

you have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • explain the important event • apologise for the situation • suggest a new arrangement

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons.Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.

In some parts of the world, the popularity of taking a personal DNA test is increasing. Why do some people want to do this? Is this development positive or negative? Give reasons for your answer.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?