Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

#people #leaders #world #peace #violence

A sizable number of people are of the view that the world would be peaceful and less violent if more women take the leadership mantle.

However

, I totally do not flow

Change preposition

with

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the alignment of the stated thought because I opine that global peacefulness is not gender

bias

Wrong verb form

biased

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but with cooperation and tolerance, tranquillity can be intensified. The subsequent paragraphs shall elucidate my perspective. The main reason why I disagree is I believe that leadership has nothing to do with one's sex.Femininity does not impose meekness.Being a male or female does not determine the leadership role an individual plays since its being guided by some rules and regulations.

For example

,a woman heading a state abides by the laws of the country and does not go contrary by exhibiting the traits of being a mother

thus

showing sympathy in all matters rather she obliges to the norms of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society.

Therefore

, women's heads can not just bring a reduction in war by means of their nature. Another reason why I'm against the notion is,I think that peace-building is about understanding and cooperating. In order to achieve a truce in the globe, I suggest that leaders become united irrespective of their gender and work towards a common goal.

For instance

, if all world leaders understand that the consequences of wars and violence outweigh their benefits

then

there will be reductions in brutality regardless of the gender leading. Conclusively,

although

women are thought to have a soft spot, I'm of the view that all leaders can make the world a peaceful home and apply violent free if they work together in harmony and unity.

Submitted by maryquartey65 on Tue Mar 14 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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