Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
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contemporary epoch,
while
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filling out the form at the hiring process some individuals ask their new hires to fill in their personal information
such
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as their marital status, hobbies, and interests. A certain number of people consider it useful
whereas
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critics disagree with the fact of providing personal details. In my opinion, personal data must be disclosed.
This
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essay will delve into both opinions and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
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with, the most prominent reason to fill all the personal information is that it helps the prior staff to understand their new colleague in a short period without any hardships. They can gossip during their work hour depending upon the common interest field that helps them not to get bored
while
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working.
Moreover
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, if employers
as well as
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colleagues know that their workmate is married and has kids
then
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they can manage the work
accordingly
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to render them some quality time with their family members on some special occasions
such
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as birthdays, or marriage anniversaries. On the flip side, some employers and colleagues start dominating their mates on the basis of their hobbies.
For instance
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, if a worker likes drinking or smoking, they might start considering them as drug-addicted which is not true.
Furthermore
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, married women will need to face some special hate as they may consider that they can provide their full potential to the company because they might be worried about their husbands and kids as well.
Thus
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, it is apparent why numerous people are against
this
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trend.
According to
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my opinion, providing personal details should be vital because it helps to increase coordination and understanding between co-workers.
However
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, if people get dominated
due to
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their hobbies or personal status
then
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there should be some strict policies for them to stop
such
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actions
otherwise
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, the repercussions could be disruptive as it could lead to damage to the goodwill of the company in the market.
To conclude
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, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it is crystal clear that it is relentlessly necessary to disclose personal information to the company but, it is
also
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vital to stop judgements made on the basis of personal data in firms.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer distinction between the two viewpoints in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance logical connections between sentences and paragraphs for a smoother flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Work on refining your ideas, ensuring they are presented clearly and comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, providing a clear scope of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported and elaborated upon with reasonable explanations.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively, considering both views and presenting an opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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