Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Talking about the rising of obesity in our society, especially among our
children
, I think it's fair to say that it’s the product of wrong treatment in our social system. Some people believe that
parents
, as the significant others of the youngster, are responsible for
this
cause to happen,
however
, some
also
believe that government is
also
has a big impact on the rising obesity among
children
. In my view, both are responsible for that. To start with, there are many reasons why
parents
are responsible for that event. First and foremost, a lot of
parents
have limited resources for education, especially about child nutrition or child development, so they feed their
children
whatever they think or feel is right for them. Without being concerned about the ingredients and/or the process of the food given.
This
is
also
supported by the number of fast-food restaurants that are easier and nearer to find nowadays, so that for the sake of simplicity, the
parents
will bring their
children
to go there
instead
or order the food from home,
instead
of giving their
children
a home-cooked meal which is supposed to be healthier.
On the other hand
, the government is
also
responsible for that because at some point they didn’t use their authority to limit the distribution of fast foods restaurant and to ban ultra-processed food (UPF) products which use some apply unhealthy ingredients in the process.
For example
, the price given for the UPF products which have bad ingredients is usually very cheap and accessible to many economic society levels rather than the price of organic foods. In conclusion, I would say that it’s our - as for
parents
and governments - homework to bring back healthy lifestyles to our heirs. They need us to show which one is right or wrong, especially regarding their eating habits. So that, in the future they will teach and keep their child better than us and the cause of obesity will decrease.
Submitted by nurani.arimbi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!