Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Talking about the rising of obesity in our society, especially among our

children

, I think it's fair to say that it’s the product of wrong treatment in our social system. Some people believe that

parents

, as the significant others of the youngster, are responsible for

this

cause to happen,

however

, some

also

believe that government is

also

has a big impact on the rising obesity among

children

. In my view, both are responsible for that. To start with, there are many reasons why

parents

are responsible for that event. First and foremost, a lot of

parents

have limited resources for education, especially about child nutrition or child development, so they feed their

children

whatever they think or feel is right for them. Without being concerned about the ingredients and/or the process of the food given.

This

also

supported by the number of fast-food restaurants that are easier and nearer to find nowadays, so that for the sake of simplicity, the

parents

will bring their

children

to go there

instead

or order the food from home,

instead

of giving their

children

a home-cooked meal which is supposed to be healthier.

On the other hand

, the government is

also

responsible for that because at some point they didn’t use their authority to limit the distribution of fast foods restaurant and to ban ultra-processed food (UPF) products which use some apply unhealthy ingredients in the process.

For example

, the price given for the UPF products which have bad ingredients is usually very cheap and accessible to many economic society levels rather than the price of organic foods. In conclusion, I would say that it’s our - as for

parents

and governments - homework to bring back healthy lifestyles to our heirs. They need us to show which one is right or wrong, especially regarding their eating habits. So that, in the future they will teach and keep their child better than us and the cause of obesity will decrease.

Submitted by nurani.arimbi on Tue Mar 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some cities, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hours. Do you think this development is positive or negative?
In many cities, the Government has imposed peak hour rates on drivers to reduce traffic, so travellers can stop using their vehicles and reduce incidents which happen on the roads. I do not think this development is positive because there are other methods which can ease the traffic on the roads. This essay will discuss why imposed taxes are not beneficial to the people.
4
band
Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.
The aim of my project is to examine what are the most popular film genres among teenagers in Zetland. To achive this goal I found a table considering some revelant opinion polls. In this essay I will describe my findings and express my opinion.
6.5
band
Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether the state had better cover the cost of the medical and educational system or not. While some claim that making full payment for the healthcare system and schooling is necessary, the opposite makes a statement that the authority should bear accountability for the authority. I would contend that making an investment in healthcare and education is fundamental for the lawmakers but they do not take full responsibility for those systems.
6
band
In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?
There have been growing concerns about the range of educational subjects that students are required. Some people may have suggested that students should focus on specific subjects to prepare for their future careers. This will be helpful to students, however, personally I believe secondary schools should encourage students to learn a variety of subjects.
5.5
band
Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
Many individuals argue that family plays the most significant role in shaping a child's development, while others believe that external factors such as television, friends, and music exert a more substantial influence. I would argue that, although external factors can have an impact, the family remains the most powerful force in a child's development.

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some cities, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hours. Do you think this development is positive or negative?

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?