IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today more and more people want things instantly (eg: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

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In an ever-progressive community, there is a growing trend towards requiring things
such
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 as goods, services and news immediately.
This
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 issue is
due to
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 the busy life that they are suffering which is having a significant role in developing technology and society. Central to
this
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 issue is the point that the demand of consumers is now increasingly hard is come from their busy. To clarify
this
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 point, think about the large amounts of work they need to complete per day and the vast information source they must receive not to be dated.
In other words
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, they are trying to catch up with the flow of humanity and fit with the internet revolution.
For instance
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, in
this
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 day and age, there are many gadgets created to serve people's requirements
such
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 as apps, social media and websites provided for ordering goods online, shipping and updating daily news.
Hence
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, it is quite normal for a generation that people want to get everything done in seconds because of their occupied. Perhaps,
this
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 situation has witnessed a conclusive effect on the improvement of technology.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that when the exigency of consumers increases, there will be more business and can provide more, contributing to developing technological systems and other organisations
such
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 as transportation, the media and packaging products.
For example
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, there are many companies working in shipping fields developing well and finding ways to shorten shipping times to present the best service for customers,
this
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 not only enhances shopping by machinery but
also
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 creates favourable conditions to improve the essential long-term relationships between brands and consumers. In conclusion, suffering from the large amounts of work makes people request everything in seconds.
Therefore
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, it will contribute to the development of technology and society.

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task achievement
Consider diversifying your essay with a wider range of specific examples to enrich your argument and make your points more vivid and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to use varied sentence structures and transitions to enhance the fluency between ideas and paragraphs, which will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Focus on linking your main points back to the question prompt more directly throughout the essay to ensure a stronger task achievement.
task achievement
In the development of your arguments, aim for clarity and precision in expressing your ideas to make them easily understandable and engaging.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, discussing reasons behind the trend for instant goods, services, and news, as well as its implications on technology and society.
coherence cohesion
You successfully create a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids understanding and follows academic essay conventions.
coherence cohesion
The essay reflects a good level of language control and vocabulary relevant to the topic, enhancing the overall quality of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • advent of technology
  • smartphones
  • internet
  • social media platforms
  • online shopping
  • fast-paced nature
  • modern life
  • immediate satisfaction
  • drive innovation
  • efficiency
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
  • erosion of patience
  • impulsive buying
  • shallow consumption
  • interpersonal relationships
  • unrealistic standards
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