IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Some
people
 believe
music
 plays a significant role in gathering others from various
cultures
 and age groups at a table. Personality, I have the same opinion and, I will explain why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, the melody of any song can be pleasant despite the singing. To extend, it happened that some songs become very popular in different
countries
 or even at the global level just because of their melody despite
people
 enjoying them without knowing the language of their songs.
For instance
, K-POP singers are very famous and performed in different
countries
 in Europe and America. They
also
 have numerous followers on social media.
Secondly
, classical
music
 is the result of a social agreement that has admirers from diverse ages and backgrounds. In 18 and 19 centuries, it influenced art and enriched
cultures
, even though it was special for nobles and the royal family. Its results can be seen in Chopin's orchestra and Beethoven's symphonies which revolted Europe
music
.
Finally
,
people
 from different
cultures
 may like how a singer sings, not other attributes of the singer.
For example
, Justin Baber attracted many
people
 from many
countries
while
 he was a teenager. It might say that there are some contrasts with
this
 argument, which most notably is arguing among persuaders of different kinds of songs like classic and rap.
However
, it seems that
music
 makes societies more exclusive and
this
 is overweighted by its issues.
Overall
,
music
 is a key player to make a common value among diverse
cultures
, age groups, and
countries
. It doesn’t mean that it would be always peaceful, but it appears to be the case very frequently.
Submitted by shojaeinejad_m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: