IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
These days, almost all the
people
 in the world
use
 social media to connect. It is generally believed that using them can affect social interactions in real life. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
this
 main point of view and
also
 why I strongly believe that the advantages exceed the disadvantages. The fear of the loss of face-to-face interaction,
due to
 the
use
 of social media, is felt among
people
. It is true that some
people
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 stay home and chat with friends on Facebook or Instagram.
For example
, a lot of teenagers join group video chats on TikTok
instead
 to go out and to interact in Bars or the Park. Some surveys provided data which contained the percentages of young
people
 who cannot go out because of depression
due to
 a lack of social activity in the real world.
On the other hand
, other experts believe that the
use
 of social media increases the chances to meet new friends, and
also
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
people
 who are more similar to us. Indeed, on Facebook's
pages
Add a comma
,pages
show examples
 we find even organised group travel around many countries.
Thus
people
 are more connected now that in the past. Personally, I tend to think that it depends on the person
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the way these applications are used. We can obtain more benefits from them with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
use
.
To conclude
, the general point of view is that over the years we will lose direct interactions among
people
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I discussed
this
 thought and I explained why I do not entirely agree with that.
Submitted by robertasottile.rbst on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: