Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #internet #communities

It is believed by some individuals that

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

helps to connect

people

Change preposition

to each

show examples

each

Change preposition

to each

show examples

other

while

others think

due to

social

Fix the agreement mistake

media

show examples

medias

Fix the agreement mistake

media

show examples

world has become a

longly

Correct your spelling

lonely

show examples

place.

This

essay will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

both views and

finally

talk about my opinion. On the

one

hand, online communication is becoming more popular and

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

of uses

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing rapidly.

This

will allow

Correct pronoun usage

us to

show examples

build and maintain

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

throughout the world without considering geographical distances. It seems that modern technology

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

large planet

earth

Capitalize word

Earth

show examples

into a small universal village.

People

do not need to feel

loneliness

Replace the word

lonely

show examples

as they can communicate with their friends and family members with

one

click to

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

. Social

media

such

as Facebook and Instagram permit individuals to maintain their own news field

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

update them with

latest

Change the article

the latest

show examples

news and allow other

people

to comment on them.

This

practice will help to improve bonds with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

. Not only that Messenger WhatsApp and Zoom

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

let

Verb problem

allow

show examples

users

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

have video

conferenceing

Correct your spelling

conferencing

facilities and

this

may

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

helps

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

to connect parents who live in

one

part of the world with their kids.

On the other hand

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation in present

are

Change the verb form

show examples

focusing

Replace the word

focused

show examples

on their social

media

accounts that they surf

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

all the time and do not pay attention to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

normal society. In the past, kids who lived in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

same area got together and played with each other.

This

promoted

Wrong verb form

promotes

show examples

healthy relationships with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

but now

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

days most children

engaging

Wrong verb form

engage

show examples

with online gaming and

browsing

Wrong verb form

browse

show examples

social

media

they do not even have a proper relationship with

people

who are living in the same house.

Same

Change the article

The same

show examples

thing

was happened

Change to the active voice

happened

has happened

show examples

with the

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

as most of them who

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

waiting in public areas

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not try to make contact with each other but

searching

Wrong verb form

searched

show examples

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

. In conclusion,

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

has both advantages and disadvantages and it all

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

on the person who

use

Change the verb form

uses

show examples

it. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

I believe as social

media

permit

Correct pronoun usage

one to

show examples

connect with family members and friends and meet new

one

the benefits

are overweight

Verb problem

outweigh

show examples

than cons.

Submitted by madhuherath.manny on Wed Mar 15 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has basic coherence and cohesion, but it lacks clear progression and organization. Work on structuring your essay with clear topic sentences and supporting details for each point.

task response

You have addressed the task but the essay lacks depth and specific examples to support your points. Make sure to provide more detailed and balanced arguments for each view, and support them with relevant examples and evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
52Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You have borrowed money from your bank. Now your income has changed. Task: Write an email of about 150–200 words to the bank and explain the change in your finances. Make a request to change the amount of money you pay back each month. Your email should include the following things: the amount of money you borrowed and the current repayment schedule, why you borrowed the money, how your income has changed and why it has changed, how you would like to change the amount of money you pay each month
To whom it may concern,
7.5
band
In some countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home or traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
After the pandemic in 2020, there is a debated topic about the positive and negative aspects of working or studying on-site or remotely. I personally believe that the benefits of having a flexible workplace are more than the drawbacks. I will elaborate on my opinions.
<4
band
Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?
The majority of parents prefer to home school their children than sending them to school. However, in my opinion the benefits of going to school, outweigh home schooling. Nevertheless, this essay will dig deeper in both sides.
8
band
Most countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. What problems are caused by international tourism? Solutions to change negative attitudes?
There are several reasons why many people have a negative attitude towards international tourism. However, this can be handled by adopting possible solutions, as will now be discussed.
<4
band
The rise of socila media has affected personal, relationships and society as a whole. Do the advatages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages.
Last two decades highly developed the internet based businesses, one of the most popular sector is social networking websites out of them. Most considerable topic is that business extremly impacted to personal life for communication process. While there are many benefits easy of connection each other, and save time and cost of living. Though, sometimes there are downsides like lack of live collaboration demanding for addict in social network.

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home or traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Most countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. What problems are caused by international tourism? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

The rise of socila media has affected personal, relationships and society as a whole. Do the advatages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantages.