Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are become more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
It is believed by some individuals that
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
helps to connect Correct article usage
the internet
people
Change preposition
to each
each
other Change preposition
to each
while
others think due to
social Fix the agreement mistake
media
medias
world has become a Fix the agreement mistake
media
longly
place. Correct your spelling
lonely
This
essay will discuss about
both views and Remove the preposition
apply
finally
talk about my opinion.
On the one
hand, online communication is becoming more popular and number
of uses Change the article
the number
are
increasing rapidly. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
This
will allow to
build and maintain Correct pronoun usage
us to
relationship
throughout the world without considering geographical distances. It seems that modern technology Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
make
large planet Change the verb form
makes
earth
into a small universal village. Capitalize word
Earth
People
do not need to feel loneliness
as they can communicate with their friends and family members with Replace the word
lonely
one
click to internet
. Social Add an article
the internet
media
such
as Facebook and Instagram permit individuals to maintain their own news field and
update them with Correct word choice
apply
latest
news and allow other Change the article
the latest
people
to comment on them. This
practice will help to improve bonds with each others
. Not only that Messenger WhatsApp and Zoom Change to a singular noun
other
Change preposition
apply
like
Change preposition
apply
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
let
users Verb problem
allow
Fix the infinitive
apply
to
have video Verb problem
apply
conferenceing
facilities and Correct your spelling
conferencing
this
may Wrong verb form
help
helps
to connect parents who live in Wrong verb form
help
one
part of the world with their kids.
On the other hand
, younger
generation in present Add an article
the younger
are
more Change the verb form
is
focusing
on their social Replace the word
focused
media
accounts that they surf internet
all the time and do not pay attention to Add an article
the internet
the
normal society. In the past, kids who lived in Correct article usage
apply
a
same area got together and played with each other. Correct article usage
the
This
promoted
healthy relationships with each Wrong verb form
promotes
others
but now Change to a singular noun
other
a
days most children Correct article usage
apply
engaging
with online gaming and Wrong verb form
engage
browsing
social Wrong verb form
browse
media
they do not even have a proper relationship with people
who are living in the same house. Same
thing Change the article
The same
was happened
with the Change to the active voice
happened
has happened
adult
as most of them who Fix the agreement mistake
adults
are
waiting in public areas Wrong verb form
were
do
not try to make contact with each other but Wrong verb form
did
searching
Wrong verb form
searched
internet
.
In conclusion, Add an article
the internet
internet
has both advantages and disadvantages and it all Add an article
the internet
depend
on the person who Change the verb form
depends
use
it. In my Change the verb form
uses
opinion
I believe as social Add a comma
opinion,
media
permit to
connect with family members and friends and meet new Correct pronoun usage
one to
one
the benefits are overweight
than cons.Verb problem
outweigh
Submitted by madhuherath.manny on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has basic coherence and cohesion, but it lacks clear progression and organization. Work on structuring your essay with clear topic sentences and supporting details for each point.
task response
You have addressed the task but the essay lacks depth and specific examples to support your points. Make sure to provide more detailed and balanced arguments for each view, and support them with relevant examples and evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
