Nowadays, more people are spending less time at home. Why do you think this happens? What effect does this have on individuals and society?

In the advanced era that started at the beginning of
21
Correct your spelling
the 21st
century, both workers and students have tight schedules leading them to stay longer out of their homes.
Such
an effect of too seldom spent time at
home
may bring less care to
people
in their housing, including their family, and possibly unrecognize or not know each other's names between neighbours.
To begin
with, adults are more concerned about many lucrative activities to fulfil their needs. Consecuentively, undertaking those jobs
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
extra time and stipulates them to consent to their family to become late at
home
.
Besides
adult person, adolescent
also
has to spend more in their academy because of either additional classes or extracurricular. Joining
English
Correct article usage
the English
show examples
Club after class,
for instance
, stipulates them to unable to go
home
early,
moreover
when faced with competition within a week ahead. Some effects may occur
due to
the millennial busy culture.
As a consequence
of being busy,
people
may achieve what they want but sometimes followed by some undesirable effects. The possible outcome is uncaring for the
people
in their residential area.
For example
, when a student goes to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school in the early morning and comes
home
late, it is hard for them to interact with their relatives, and even more difficult for their neighbours.
Moreover
, they will not know each name if no meeting between them. The social environment is going to be silent, with no neighbourhood bond activities because of busy with each other.
To conclude
, there are some causes affecting
people
to spend less time at their house because of outer-
home
activities, either work or study culture. Those human choices obviously may result in a positive output for each individual, but sometimes affect them to become un-care with the neighbourhood. Even worse, they potentially do not recognize the name of the housing member.
Submitted by rizkibagus23 on

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extended
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for people spending less time at home and the effects on individuals and society. However, the essay lacks depth and fails to fully develop the ideas.
extended
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay shows some coherence and cohesion by using linking words and attempting to structure the arguments. However, there are errors in logical structure, lack of clear introduction and conclusion, and insufficient development of main points.

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