Some people work for the same organisation for a lifetime. Others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The subject of remaining with a single
company
has been a focal point of debate. While
some argue that sticking to one employer for an entire career brings more advantages, others hold a contrary opinion, suggesting that rapid career advancement is achievable by changing companies.
First and foremost, despite remaining at the same company
for a long time may result in employee
burnout or exhaustion, many indulge the merits of being a loyal employee
. Some business
owners provide a good salary sometimes even a share of equity of their business
so that the employees can treat their business
as their own. Furthermore
, the provision of such
incentives boosts long-term employee
retention, increasing the willingness among chief staff to keep working for the same business
until they retire. However
, it is worth noting that excessive stagnation in a work environment may force people to get into their comfort zones and hinder them from challenging the status quo. Resultantly, these workers become inefficient and too comfortable to work with, eventually leading businesses to a debacle.
On the other hand
, some people cannot work for the same company
for more than 2 years, continuously jumping from job to job. Therefore
, they have a better chance of developing a diversified background by experiencing multiple companies and their business
ethics. To illustrate, when individuals switch companies, they encounter the challenges linked to different industries, expanding their reservoir of knowledge and consistently keeping them engaged in what they excel at. Moreover
, such
frequent job transition recordings on resumes can also
be evaluated as a sign of instability as well as
an additional reason for rejection by potential recruiters.
In conclusion, the decision to remain with a company
is primarily based on individual choices, often reinforced by employee
retention programs. However
, I believe individuals should be open to changing their workplaces approximately every five years, neither too early nor too late.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your logical structure, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is elaborated on throughout the paragraph. It can be helpful to use topic sentences to introduce the main idea at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion crisply mirror each other in content and argument reflection. While your conclusion does tie back to the introduction, it can be further strengthened by specifically referencing the discussions held within the essay.
coherence cohesion
To give more depth to your main points, provide concrete examples to support your arguments. These examples should be detailed and directly relevant to the topic discussed.
task achievement
Whilst your essay addresses the prompt effectively, to enhance your task response score, explicitly discuss both sides of the argument equally and develop your own position throughout, rather than just in the conclusion.
task achievement
To showcase clear and comprehensive ideas, develop each argument fully and explore the implications or consequences of the viewpoints. This could involve examining why some individuals prefer stability while others seek diversity in their employment.
task achievement
Use more real-world examples to substantiate the points made. This could be in the form of statistics, research, or anecdotal evidence that conveys a clear link to the main argument and strengthens the response's persuasiveness.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example