the graph below show the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country betweeb 2011 and 2018
Given is a line chart which indicates the number of stores that were closed and started in 2011
as well as
2018 in a nation. Obviously,both of the mentioned numbers failed in these 7 years compared to the beginning .
To look closely at these figures, in 2011, approximately 8500 stores were opened yet nearly 6500 were closed. Both of them decreased in 2012, and the closures and openings reached a bit lesser than 6000 and 4000. Before 2014,the figure for new shops have a
Correct article usage
apply
noticeable
rose within two years,Change the word
noticeably
however
,the other climbed a bit but fell back too.
In 2014 and 2015,the shutdowns showed dramatic changes ,from around 6500 fluctuated to merely 500, representing the lowest number in this
graph,
but rocketed over 5000. Meanwhile, the total of just-opened stores declined and didn't alter much until 2017.Remove the comma
apply
Finally
, these counterparts slightly increased and decreased with the ending number of roughly 5000 and 3000 respectively.Submitted by nanatsui on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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