The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?

#population #cities #people #move #work #opportunities #overpopulation

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Nowadays, every person wants to maintain a good lifestyle. So migration towards cities is increasing rapidly, in order to have better

opportunities

. In

this

way, urban areas are becoming crowded with the passage of time. The inclined rate of population among cities gives rise to many problems. Most alarming among them is the accommodation. There are not many houses available, which raises the need

of constructing

Change preposition

to construct

show examples

more buildings and apartments.

This

not only makes the area blocked but

also

increases pollution, as lands for parks and gardens are being utilized for mentioned purposes.

Furthermore

, job

opportunities

are

also

getting limited.

For instance

, many candidates apply for a particular job role, and most of them remain unemployed. The same is the case with education. Most of the students don’t get admission in their desired field, as there are many applicants for a certain amount of seats.

On the other hand

, the farming of crops

Verb problem

has

show examples

also

suffered

due to

a shortage of workers in rural areas, which is

also

causing a shortage of food.

However

, every problem comes with a solution. Educational Institutes should be made among the villages so that they can acquire higher studies there.

Moreover

, businesses should be promoted, to facilitate the villagers with better career

opportunities

. The government should raise funds for

such

areas where there are fewer facilities. Farmers should

also

be provided extra wages and free-of-cost pesticides, to enhance their motivation.

This

will

also

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

the shortage of food. In my opinion, moving towards corporate cities for a better future is not a good option. Rather

opportunities

should be provided in every part of the country, to balance the scenario.

Submitted by ned.khizar on Wed Mar 15 2023

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task achievement

The essay would benefit from more specific examples and data to support your claims, especially regarding urban employment and educational opportunities.

task achievement

Ensure that the solutions provided directly address the problems stated, enhancing the task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences lack clarity, which can be improved by breaking complex ideas into simpler sentences.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the issue of overpopulation in cities and sets up the discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

You have logically organized problems and solutions into separate paragraphs, making the essay easy to follow.

task achievement

The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, providing a clear opinion on the matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overpopulation
urbanization
strain on resources
property prices
traffic congestion
public services
healthcare
education
sanitation
unemployment rates
competition
green spaces
recreational areas
infrastructure
quality of life
mental health

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The population of most cities is growing as people move to cities to find work and new opportunities. What problems does overpopulation in cities cause? How can these problems be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work . some people regard this as completely wrong , while others consider it valuable work experience , important for learning and taking responsibility . What are your opinion on this ?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?