The government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to reduce the amount of violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern
days
Change to a genitive case
day's
days'
show examples
crime rates in some countries are at the point
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
arrest
Add an article
the arrest
show examples
of the criminals does not seem to help as much as it did in the past.
Therefore
, the
governmentgoverment
Correct your spelling
government government
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
trying to fight the problem from its core. Some of them believe that displayed violence in
movies
or television is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
part of the issue
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why they are debating on
restriction
Add an article
the restriction
show examples
of violence
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
it is not necessarynessecerry and in
this
essay I
willi
Correct your spelling
will
will try to justify it.
First,
I think that the people surrounding a person in their life
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more impact on him or her to
becoming
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
a criminal than tv shows or
movies
have.
This
could be explained by
performancepreformance
Correct your spelling
performance performance
art made by Marina Abromovich. The
artistarist
Correct your spelling
artist artist
Marina conducted a
performancepreformance
Correct your spelling
performance performance
wherewere
Correct your spelling
wherever
where were
she was sitting still on the chair and beside her was a table full of things. Some of the things were soft to the
touchtuch
Correct your spelling
touch much
like
paint
Add an article
a paint
show examples
brush or
featherfether
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feather feather
and some of them were harsh like
knivesknife
Correct your spelling
knives knife
. The audience could use the
objectsobjetcs
Correct your spelling
object objects
howeverhow
Correct your spelling
however how
ever they liked. At
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
they were
gentlegentel
Correct your spelling
gentle gentle
, but going
towardsthorwards
Correct your spelling
towards forwards
the end of the
performancetheperformance
Correct your spelling
performance the performance
theythye
Correct your spelling
they they
were
undressingundresing
Correct your spelling
undressing undressing
her, cutting and other horrible things. It shows how one
person'spersons
Correct your spelling
persons persons
actions could let surrounding
peoplepoeple
Correct your spelling
people people
think that it is okay to do something over the line and harm or shame
someonesome
Correct your spelling
someone some
one. It is very similar in
realin
Correct your spelling
real in
realising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life where
continuescountinues
Correct your spelling
continues continues
stealing,
assaultassult
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assault assault
or any type of law
valuationvaliation
Correct your spelling
valuation valuation
done by friends could be portrayedportraided
aslike
Correct your spelling
like
as like
nothing and even encouragingencoureding to do something like that.
Other thing
Change the wording
Another thing
Other things
show examples
would be that tv shows and
movies
already have age limitations,
disclaimers
Correct word choice
and disclaimers
show examples
or
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
as marketed as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movies
with less
violenceviolance
Correct your spelling
violence violence
. AdditionallyAddtionaly, the films with more fighting or murder on the televisiontelevion are shown at very late hours when many people would
ratherrathers
Correct your spelling
rather rather
go to sleep than wait for the movie. These limitationslimitions
havehas
Correct your spelling
have
not worked in the long run and adding more would do any good
ether
Correct your spelling
either
show examples
. Harsher
conditionscoinditions
Correct your spelling
conditions conditions
to see a movie would bring more hate and would not stop the crimes of the
violenceviolance
Correct your spelling
violence violence
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
it would
be seem
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
less of
freedomfreedo
Correct your spelling
freedom freedom
of choice. In conclusion, I would say that the
violentvoilent
Correct your spelling
violent violent
crimes are impacted more by
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
situations they saw.
Furthermore
, the limitationslimitions would not decrease the rates of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes as there are many implicated
nowadaysnow
Correct your spelling
nowadays now
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
days and
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it seems it has not worked well
enoughenought
Correct your spelling
enough enough
to
implementimpliment
Correct your spelling
implement implement
more of them.
Submitted by oimigle on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulate
  • Desensitization
  • Censorship
  • Impressionable
  • Exposure
  • Violent behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Preventive measures
  • Artistic freedom
  • Vulnerable
  • Ethical concerns
  • Monitoring
  • Influence
  • Content control
  • Crime reduction
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