The government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to reduce the amount of violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #control #amount #violence #films #tv #crimes #society

In the modern

days

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day's

days'

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crime rates in some countries are at the point

were

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where

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arrest

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the arrest

show examples

of the criminals does not seem to help as much as it did in the past.

Therefore

, the

governmentgoverment

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government government

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

trying to fight the problem from its core. Some of them believe that displayed violence in

movies

or television is

the

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apply

show examples

part of the issue

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why they are debating on

restriction

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the restriction

show examples

of violence

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

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for

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In my

opinion

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,opinion

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it is not necessarynessecerry and in

this

essay I

willi

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will

will try to justify it.

First,

I think that the people surrounding a person in their life

has

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have

show examples

more impact on him or her to

becoming

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become

show examples

a criminal than tv shows or

movies

have.

This

could be explained by

performancepreformance

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performance performance

art made by Marina Abromovich. The

artistarist

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artist artist

Marina conducted a

performancepreformance

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performance performance

wherewere

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wherever

where were

she was sitting still on the chair and beside her was a table full of things. Some of the things were soft to the

touchtuch

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touch much

paint

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a paint

show examples

brush or

featherfether

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feather feather

and some of them were harsh like

knivesknife

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knives knife

. The audience could use the

objectsobjetcs

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object objects

howeverhow

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however how

ever they liked. At

first

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,first

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they were

gentlegentel

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gentle gentle

, but going

towardsthorwards

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towards forwards

the end of the

performancetheperformance

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performance the performance

theythye

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they they

were

undressingundresing

Correct your spelling

undressing undressing

her, cutting and other horrible things. It shows how one

person'spersons

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persons persons

actions could let surrounding

peoplepoeple

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people people

think that it is okay to do something over the line and harm or shame

someonesome

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someone some

one. It is very similar in

realin

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real in

realising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real life where

continuescountinues

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continues continues

stealing,

assaultassult

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assault assault

or any type of law

valuationvaliation

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valuation valuation

done by friends could be portrayedportraided

aslike

Correct your spelling

as like

nothing and even encouragingencoureding to do something like that.

Other thing

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Another thing

Other things

show examples

would be that tv shows and

movies

already have age limitations,

disclaimers

Correct word choice

and disclaimers

show examples

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

as marketed as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

movies

with less

violenceviolance

Correct your spelling

violence violence

. AdditionallyAddtionaly, the films with more fighting or murder on the televisiontelevion are shown at very late hours when many people would

ratherrathers

Correct your spelling

rather rather

go to sleep than wait for the movie. These limitationslimitions

havehas

Correct your spelling

have

not worked in the long run and adding more would do any good

ether

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either

show examples

. Harsher

conditionscoinditions

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conditions conditions

to see a movie would bring more hate and would not stop the crimes of the

violenceviolance

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violence violence

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

it would

be seem

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seem

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

less of

freedomfreedo

Correct your spelling

freedom freedom

of choice. In conclusion, I would say that the

violentvoilent

Correct your spelling

violent violent

crimes are impacted more by

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

situations they saw.

Furthermore

, the limitationslimitions would not decrease the rates of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes as there are many implicated

nowadaysnow

Correct your spelling

nowadays now

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

days and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it seems it has not worked well

enoughenought

Correct your spelling

enough enough

implementimpliment

Correct your spelling

implement implement

more of them.

Submitted by oimigle on Wed Mar 15 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

424 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to reduce the amount of violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspapers. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?

The university reviewed the opinions of both full-time and part-time students regarding services, and the results are shown in the pie chart.

dating online is popular because of technology. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the request for development, many countries allow their natural environment to be affected. Such a strategy is well worthwhile, an economic development should always be placed ahead of the environment. Argue both sides, and give your opinion.