The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The flowchart depicts all the essential steps in producing
sugar
cane.
Overall
, those processes will be divided into two crucial steps: producing
sugar
juice and crystallizing it into
sugar
. The whole production
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started with the manufacturing of
sugar
juice.
Initially
,
sugar
canes are raised at approximately 12-18 months.
Then
, the
sugar
cane is harvested by the farmers, unloaded by trucks, and cut into smaller pieces. Afterwards, the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are crushed with modern technology to produce juice, creating a smooth texture. In the subsequent stage, before
processed
Add a missing verb
being processed
show examples
into syrup, the resulting
sugar
juices need to be purified with a limestone filter to separate unwanted substances.
Furthermore
, the juices should be heated with an evaporator to produce
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
syrup which
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
show examples
the level of water.
Moreover
, a centrifuge is required to separate
sugar
crystals from the syrup. After
packaged
Replace the word
packaging
show examples
, the
sugar
should be dried and cooled down. Eventually, sugars are ready to be packaged and distributed to markets.
Submitted by rafiaufa18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: