The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The flowchart depicts all the essential steps in producing

sugar

cane.

Overall

, those processes will be divided into two crucial steps: producing

sugar

juice and crystallizing it into

sugar

. The whole production

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started with the manufacturing of

sugar

juice.

Initially

sugar

canes are raised at approximately 12-18 months.

Then

, the

sugar

cane is harvested by the farmers, unloaded by trucks, and cut into smaller pieces. Afterwards, the

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are crushed with modern technology to produce juice, creating a smooth texture. In the subsequent stage, before

processed

Add a missing verb

being processed

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into syrup, the resulting

sugar

juices need to be purified with a limestone filter to separate unwanted substances.

Furthermore

, the juices should be heated with an evaporator to produce

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

syrup which

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

the level of water.

Moreover

, a centrifuge is required to separate

sugar

crystals from the syrup. After

packaged

Replace the word

packaging

show examples

, the

sugar

should be dried and cooled down. Eventually, sugars are ready to be packaged and distributed to markets.

Submitted by rafiaufa18 on Wed Mar 15 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

The natural resources such as oil, forests and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problem does it cause? How can we solve these problems?