The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The flowchart depicts all the essential steps in producing

sugar

cane.

Overall

, those processes will be divided into two crucial steps: producing

sugar

juice and crystallizing it into

sugar

. The whole production

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

started with the manufacturing of

sugar

juice.

Initially

sugar

canes are raised at approximately 12-18 months.

Then

, the

sugar

cane is harvested by the farmers, unloaded by trucks, and cut into smaller pieces. Afterwards, the

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are crushed with modern technology to produce juice, creating a smooth texture. In the subsequent stage, before

processed

Add a missing verb

being processed

show examples

into syrup, the resulting

sugar

juices need to be purified with a limestone filter to separate unwanted substances.

Furthermore

, the juices should be heated with an evaporator to produce

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

syrup which

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduces

show examples

the level of water.

Moreover

, a centrifuge is required to separate

sugar

crystals from the syrup. After

packaged

Replace the word

packaging

show examples

, the

sugar

should be dried and cooled down. Eventually, sugars are ready to be packaged and distributed to markets.

Submitted by rafiaufa18 on Wed Mar 15 2023

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

158 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel overseas for a year between finishing high school and university Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this decision.

The housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays the most important task is the environmental protection of our planet for future generations. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?