Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is it a negative or positive development? Give your explanation using some relevant examples from your experience.

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Without putting the
child
Use synonyms
under too much
pressure
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he won't succeed in
life
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and learn new things.
This
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is the reason why
parents
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nowadays put a lot of effort on their
children
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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for sure is a positive thing to do.
Firstly
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, there are so many reasons that led the
parents
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to act in
such
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a way.
Such
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as, in our society, there are so many spoiled
children
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
don't want to do anything and just hang out to waste too much time without any achievements in
life
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.
In addition
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,
this
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pressure
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could be the reason for the
child
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to succeed in
life
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also
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,
parents
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want their
children
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to always be at a high level of creativity and achievement.
Secondly
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,
this
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positive development could result later in the future,
instead
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of just sitting at home without doing anything that helps the
child
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to be successful.
Moreover
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,
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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role is important in raising their
children
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and putting too much
pressure
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and effort to see them achieve in
life
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.
For example
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, raising
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
child
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from a young age is always better, because they gain so many experiences and tend to learn quickly even though they are under much
pressure
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but there is always a positive side
after
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this
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too much effort from their
parents
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. In conclusion, a lot of successful people have become successful because of their
parents
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, and behind every successful
child
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is a big support from
parents
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furthermore
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, no one could succeed in
life
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if their family didn't put them under
this
Linking Words
pressure
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.
Submitted by dialamustafaalwais on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the task prompt and provides a clear argument with relevant examples. Expand on the reasons provided for parents putting pressure on their children and whether it is a negative or positive development.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and coherence. Try to provide a clear introduction that sets up the key points of the essay, and a conclusion that sums up the argument and provides closure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prosperous future
  • highly competitive
  • extracurricular activities
  • social comparison
  • compelled
  • societal judgement
  • instill discipline
  • work ethic
  • responsibility
  • anxiety
  • diminished self-esteem
  • loss of interest
  • alienated
  • strained relationships
  • rebel
  • burnout
  • hinder
  • well-being
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