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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph illustrates spending for
fife
Correct your spelling
five
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 different client items(
Cars
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, Computers,
Books
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, Perfume, Cameras) in
France
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 and the
UK
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 . The
data
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 is measured in thousands in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the amount of money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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for
Change preposition
on
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cars
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,
books
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 and cameras in the
UK
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 higher than the same figure in
France
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.
However
Linking Words
, the quantity of money spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cars
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 and
books
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 in the
UK
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 lower than the same
data
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 in
France
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. The number of
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cars
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 in the
UK
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 was bigger by around 50
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the same
data
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 for
France
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(400).
Furthemore
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Furthermore
, with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
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 it took a lead in the graph. More than 100
aparted
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apartment
 the amount of
expending
Replace the word
expenses
show examples
 for
books
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 in the
UK
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 from the same
data
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 in
France
Use synonyms
(300) with the dominance of the former. The quantity of
expending
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expenses
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 for cameras in
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UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 nearly 350 was bigger by about 200 than the same index in
France
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. The
spend
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spent
show examples
 money quantity
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 computers in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
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 was
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
the
Change preposition
than the
show examples
 same figure for the
UK
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 nearly 350 and 330 respectively.
Following
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 the number of expenditure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 perfume in
France
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 was nearly as high as the same index for
Correct article usage
the
show examples
UK
Use synonyms
(200).
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, books, france, uk, data with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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