IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s world, consuming is became another level of shopping. Many modern republics are going to build new sectors which relate to advertisement and consumption. In the developed countries, people are getting easy to
products
Use synonyms
 and it makes encourage to buying. My humble idea is that a high level of nations could have possibilities to produce
products
Use synonyms
 but it is going to make a positive impact on sectors
such
Linking Words
 as advertising and marketing. The main reason for buying goods which is unneeded related to advertisements. Nowadays, social media has paramount effects on humanity even children are affected by the internet. Researchers said that the person be exposed to advertising at least a hundred times per day. That’s why shopping is a new habit for humanity in
this
Linking Words
 century and it seems like luxuries for undeveloped societies.
However
Linking Words
, production and being cheap
don’t
Use synonyms
 work without advertising because communities generally
don’t
Use synonyms
 look like quality or needs, they just focus on popularities.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Star Wars is shown in the movies, they are
also
Linking Words
 producing new things related to the films.
In addition
Linking Words
, they are making massive propaganda for their new
products
Use synonyms
 and the population who want to join and are buying new things about Star Wars.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advertising couldn’t be enough except for marketing because there should be a potential for taking the
products
Use synonyms
 which people
don’t
Use synonyms
 need. Hereby, businessmen have acquired during the
last
Linking Words
 two decades that new goods can buy without becoming needs. After a
while
Linking Words
, social media has helped for changing the shopping culture.
However
Linking Words
, it could be in just developed countries because financial comfortable is the most significant subject.
To sum up
Linking Words
, shopping became a new habit even though there is no need. The high level of countries are taking the shopping habits another way and in the close future, our world could have consuming issues, if people
don’t
Use synonyms
 look for solutions for wild entertainments.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: