IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #countries #money #poverty #aid
Many developing
countries
 are taken care of by rich
countries
 as the poor
countries
 are expected to grow and experience stability in the future, by receiving financial aid from the World Bank.
However
, the majority of people in developing
countries
 may have huge doubts about it. I strongly agree with these perspectives, for several reasons that I will elaborate on below. First and foremost, a lack of financial management skills is a significant challenge for many developing
countries
. To support poor
countries
 in becoming stronger and more resilient, it is way much better to give their citizens a golden opportunity, which is by giving them access to education, the internet and global knowledge, especially to the younger generations.
For example
, the United States can help give scholarships to those citizens that are underprivileged but have a big desire to get out of their comfort zone and study hard.
Furthermore
, providing access to a high-quality health facility, sanitation and clean water are
also
 crucial. Developed
countries
 are already capable of rebuilding their cities and maintaining their sustainable environment. We as developing
countries
' people need to gain valuable knowledge and
also
 get financial support to build these facilities, so we could
also
 follow rich
countries
' paths and could live in a more stable environment.
To sum up
, I truly support that we in developing
countries
 are better to receive help as another form of money,
for example
, access to education and
also
 health facilities so we can ensure that the future generations would not suffer and hopefully have a better life.
Submitted by lagum on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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