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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative trend ?

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The relative benefits and drawbacks of importing a greater amount of
food
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 items from other nations are a matter of debate. In my opinion,
while
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 there are positives
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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, these are overshadowed by the negatives. On the one hand, there are two clear advantages to
this
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 situation.
Firstly
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, importing
food
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 from other nations enhances culinary diversity. Countries with unfavourable climates or limited agricultural land can access a wide range of
products
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 that cannot be grown domestically, allowing residents to enjoy a more varied diet.
Secondly
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,
food
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 imports help in conserving national
resources
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. Highly
industrialized
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industrialised
show examples
 nations often possess strong service sectors and sufficient financial
resources
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, making it more practical to import agricultural
products
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 rather than depleting useful
resources
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 like water for farming.
This
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 enables
resources
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 to be allocated more efficiently.
However
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, despite these advantages,
this
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 situation can be considered largely disadvantageous. Of particular concern is the fact that imported
products
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 often contain preservatives and undergo lengthy transportation and storage processes, which may reduce their nutritional value and pose health risks to consumers
due to
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 inadequate in-house quality control checks. Another concern is that excessive reliance on imported
food
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 can negatively affect the domestic economy. As consumers purchase foreign
products
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, local farmers may struggle to compete and experience declining sales
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
 in
less earning
Replace the word
lower earnings
.
For example
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, supermarkets often stock imported fruits and vegetables at lower prices than locally grown alternatives, encouraging consumers to choose the cheaper option. In conclusion,
although
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 the benefits of
this
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 situation are undeniable, these are not as significant as its negative consequences, including increased health risks and growing dependence on foreign
food
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 suppliers.

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task response
For task response, give one more clear example to support each main idea.
task response
For task response, explain a little more why health risks are serious.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make the link between ideas even smoother with simple linking words.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, separate one long sentence to make the meaning easier to follow.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, so it is easy to follow.
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