IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The world should have only one government rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The technological advancements in the 21st century have been beyond our wildest expectations, and because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phenomena
such
Linking Words
 as the IT revolution, and globalization, the world has converged into a single geography. There are certain benefits and drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
, which will be enlisted in
this
Linking Words
 essay, and
finally
Linking Words
 concluded by a recommendation. With the centralization of power, it will become easier to distribute the resources to
control
Use synonyms
 price rises and inflation, thereby eliminating hunger and poverty.
For instance
Linking Words
, middle
east
Replace the word
Eastern
show examples
 countries
control
Use synonyms
 their raw materials via centralized
control
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
 the population is
least
Replace the word
less
show examples
 as compared to the whole world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, since the authority is at a single point,
therefore
Linking Words
 unemployment can be controlled
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because skilled manpower can migrate more freely as per their requirement.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it will be a humongous task to make sure the representative of every group is part of the controlling authority,
consequently
Linking Words
; the decisions and policies may not be in the interest of minorities.
For example
Linking Words
, there is no member parliament from the northeast part of country X,
hence
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 10 years, there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 no highways and new industries set up in that region.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as borders
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 eliminated
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
illegal activities will become easier, because of no border
control
Use synonyms
 procedures.
To conclude
Linking Words
, after evaluating the pros and cons, I am inclined to say that the disadvantages overpower the advantages, so
this
Linking Words
 should not be implemented. The world today as a separate powerhouse is much better than a single powerhouse.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all aspects of the essay question are addressed fully and develop your ideas and arguments clearly. Make sure to provide a balanced argument by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by using clear and logical paragraph structures, and ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly introduce and summarize the main points of the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • centralized policies
  • international cooperation
  • global economy
  • trade barriers
  • military spending
  • authoritarian control
  • cultural diversity
  • national identities
  • local issues
  • homogenized
  • decision-making
  • democratic representation
  • world peacekeeping force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: