Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city while others think that life is countryside is more suitable for them. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying
this
conviction that the majority of the masses opine that pupils should grow up in the megacities, as it is better for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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however
, others assert that in rural areas, people live a comfortable life rather than in the city.
This
essay agrees with
this
notion and my viewpoints will be highlighted in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence, there are multifarious reasons which are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favor of my stance. The first and foremost reason is to improve the living standard of children.
In other words
, if the multitude is living in big cities rather than remote areas.
Then
, they will learn a superior lesson
that is
beneficial for a high standard of living in society because they will communicate with educated people and learn
a well behave
Correct your spelling
well-behaved
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skills
as well as
improve their communication skills.
Furthermore
, the urban area provides better job opportunities and educational centres which help to secure their career. What I mean to say is that when individuals live in metropolia, they will enrol their children in international schools and universities, and
then
they will achieve
better
Correct article usage
a better
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education which is helpful for wards careers.
Due to
this
, young ones can get a job in their field
according to
their academics.
For example
, a recent study reveals
70
Correct word choice
that 70
show examples
% of pupils acquire their desired occupation in the megacities and show their skills during their work in an organization.
Therefore
, they will get a name and fame in the community through their education. In
nutshell
Correct article usage
a nutshell
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, there is a myriad of reasons why individuals prefer to live in an urban city
then
Correct your spelling
that
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will improve their living standards and secure their careers.
Submitted by rajveersra55 on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic but lacks a clear position on the issue. It is important to clearly express whether you agree or disagree with the statement and provide strong arguments to support your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to clearly introduce the topic and state your opinion in the introduction, and provide a summary or conclusion in the final paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • diverse opportunities
  • cultural experiences
  • educational facilities
  • career prospects
  • convenient transportation
  • sense of community
  • natural beauty
  • clean air
  • peaceful atmosphere
  • close-knit community
  • limited resources
  • lack of cultural activities
  • lack of educational opportunities
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • less social interaction
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