Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Argue for your point of view on this topic

Globalization refers to the integration between
people
, companies and governments on a global scale,many
people
assert that
this
phenomenon has a positive effect,
while
the rest of the
people
are against it .Both views will be discussed below.
Firstly
, trade connections between the two countries would be helpful to increase smooth and friendly relationships and
also
a mutual understanding between the two nations;
as a result
, it will provide more job opportunities for youth .
For example
, nowadays, many multinational companies have been opened in different parts of countries, where
people
from different nations are working together which is
also
helpful for youngsters to know about
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different cultures, customs
as well as
traditions.
Apart from
this
, they can learn multi-languages.
According to
the opponents, cultural identity starts fading through
this
type of commerce, as the other nation might dominate other countries.
For instance
, India and China
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborated
show examples
for importing and exporting products ,
while
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days, most of the population prefers to buy china products because of
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
reasonable prices;
therefore
, the former country lost their identity.
Moreover
, another negative side is losing the identity of their culture and language , everyone prefers to speak a foreign language
instead
of their mother tongue.
Consequently
,
this
could be dangerous for upcoming generations ,
they
Correct word choice
as they
show examples
will not have any knowledge regarding traditional values. In conclusion, no doubt,globalization brings huge advantages for youngsters in terms of employment and for developing mutual understanding ,
while
their negative side
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
be neglected because
people
lose the importance of their culture.
Submitted by navjotguri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay provides a clear argument and presents both sides of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: