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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Argue for your point of view on this topic

Globalization refers to the integration between
people
Use synonyms
, companies and governments on a global scale,many
people
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 assert that
this
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 phenomenon has a positive effect,
while
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 the rest of the
people
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 are against it .Both views will be discussed below.
Firstly
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, trade connections between the two countries would be helpful to increase smooth and friendly relationships and
also
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 a mutual understanding between the two nations;
as a result
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, it will provide more job opportunities for youth .
For example
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, nowadays, many multinational companies have been opened in different parts of countries, where
people
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 from different nations are working together which is
also
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 helpful for youngsters to know about
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different cultures, customs
as well as
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 traditions.
Apart from
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this
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 , they can learn multi-languages.
According to
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 the opponents, cultural identity starts fading through
this
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 type of commerce, as the other nation might dominate other countries.
For instance
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, India and China
made
Verb problem
apply
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collaboration
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collaborated
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 for importing and exporting products ,
while
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In
Change preposition
apply
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these days, most of the population prefers to buy china products because of
having
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have
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 reasonable prices;
therefore
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, the former country lost their identity.
Moreover
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, another negative side is losing the identity of their culture and language , everyone prefers to speak a foreign language
instead
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 of their mother tongue.
Consequently
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,
this
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 could be dangerous for upcoming generations ,
they
Correct word choice
as they
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 will not have any knowledge regarding traditional values. In conclusion, no doubt,globalization brings huge advantages for youngsters in terms of employment and for developing mutual understanding ,
while
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 their negative side
could not
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cannot
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 be neglected because
people
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 lose the importance of their culture.

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task response
The essay provides a clear argument and presents both sides of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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