The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and plan future development of the site

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and plan future development of the site
The maps depict the Norbiton industrial
area
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present and the estimation of refurbishment on the site.
Overall
, after refurbishment,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the north side of
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
will be a housing
area
,
whereas
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
southest
Correct your spelling
southeast
southwest
area
will be focused on the residential
area
, educational place, and refreshing purposes. In detail, on the north side of
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
will be
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
a residential
area
which will
served
Change the verb form
serve
be served
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the main road across the
river
. Based on the prediction, the government do not destroy any building in
this
location.
On the other hand
, on the
south
Replace the word
southern
show examples
area
of
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
, after being altered into the housing
area
, the national authorities will
altered
Change the verb form
alter
show examples
the essential focus of the map into recreational, educational, and medical purposes,
such
as markets,
playground
Fix the agreement mistake
playgrounds
show examples
, medical
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
and schools. The residential place will
also
developed
Change the verb form
be developed
develop
show examples
after being planned. The government will
also
add a road circle
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
southest
Correct your spelling
southeast
side of the industrial environment.
Submitted by rafiaufa18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, river with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: