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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian Cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian Cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart illustrates percentages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
residents
Change noun form
resident's
residents'
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
tea
Use synonyms
 buying and drinking habits in five cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks.
Overall
Linking Words
, in all the cities except
Use synonyms
Adelaide
Add a comma
,Adelaide
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
 went to café for
coffee
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 or
tea
Use synonyms
 than to
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 instant
coffee
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 or fresh
coffee
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. Buying instant
coffee
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 and going to
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 almost equally common in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
. Most
people
Use synonyms
 in Melbourne, Hobart, Sydney and Brisbane went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks by approximately
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
64, 63, 61 and 56
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively
whereas
Linking Words
 the proportion of going to
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
 in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 was around 49%. These five cities
also
Linking Words
 had roughly half of the residents buying fresh
coffee
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. Around 45%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 bought fresh
coffee
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 in Sydney and Melbourne
while
Linking Words
 approximately 35%
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 of Brisbane and
Adelaide
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 did so. Hobart’s
people
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 bought fresh
coffee
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 almost as half of the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
went to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
tea
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by englishpills077 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, tea, adelaide, people, café with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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