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Band 6

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
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Nowadays,
public
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the public
show examples
 considers that
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
 of
food
 is the most important major
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 students, but others believe that
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum should include important subjects
such
 as math,
physics
Correct word choice
and physics
show examples
. Personally, I think that cooking
food
 is not useful for major people, because they are going to choose more guaranteed jobs. In the paragraphs underneath,
this
 essay shall see my thoughts about the topic.
To begin
 with,
food
 preparation is always
useful
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a useful
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 skill,
that is
, it can be needed in the future.
For instance
, CZN Burak was just a child who helped his uncle in his restaurant,
then
 he became one the most popular chef. He did not know that he could cook and there is nothing impossible.
Moreover
, it is
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an advantage
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advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
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 for girls in school, because they will marry and become
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a wife
show examples
wife
Fix the agreement mistake
wives
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.
Therefore
, they need to cook for children.
As a result
, cooking is a great skill.
On the other hand
, students should know more important subjects to be ready for adult life.
Science
Correct article usage
The science
show examples
 of
food
 will not be income for everyone, only some can cope with it. So, teenagers need to learn other majors. To give an example, these days, there are vacancies for
engineeringg
Correct your spelling
engineering
, marketing and teaching,
accordingly
, adolescents should choose one of them.
Additionally
, people can dine out and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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cook. If teenagers spent their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
 how to prepare, they would lose a lot of job opportunities.
As a result
, they will have
misunderstandable
Correct article usage
a misunderstandable
show examples
 future without any prioritized professions.
Thus
, we should not give a main role
for
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to
show examples
 cooking. In conclusion,
food
 preparation is
good
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a good
show examples
 extra skill,
however
, we do not have to put it as our main major. In my mind, subjects like math
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more important and it is
priority
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a priority
the priority
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teens.
Submitted by Deadline 8th April IELTS on

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