IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

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the chart depicts people's purchasing preferences and drinks customs
last
Linking Words
 month in (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisban,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and Hobart) in Australia.
overall
Linking Words
, habitats in all cities -except
Adelaide
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- preferred going to a cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea. whilst, in ,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 the majority had bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 came
last
Linking Words
 on the list of preferences. We can notice that more than 60% of people in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart went to
coffee
Use synonyms
 to have drinks. Whistle, in Brisban 55% of the survey candidates choose to go to the
coffee
Use synonyms
 out of other choices, but in ,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 less than forty
per
Change preposition
apply
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cent of habitats choose that choice.
While
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of that choice, Half of them went with the instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 option. We observe that having fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the
last
Linking Words
 in all cities. In Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart the percentage was about forty.
Whereas
Linking Words
 it was less than 35 % in Brisban and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adelaide, coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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