some people think that poverty is the main reason for all crimes. do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Shortage of money is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the
signified
Replace the word
significant
show examples
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in the world. Some people believe that the reason behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all committed
crimes
Use synonyms
is poverty. I disagree with the statement. In my opinion, offences are committed by
mindset
Correct article usage
the mindset
show examples
and needs of
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, violent video
games
Use synonyms
mostly affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
adolescents. these
games
Use synonyms
include gun shoots,
weapons
Correct word choice
and weapons
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
they do not have any idea
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
differentiation
Add an article
the differentiation
show examples
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
reality and virtuality.
This
Linking Words
kind of
Use synonyms
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
may provoke the
person
Use synonyms
to become an offender.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another major issue to commit offences.
For example
Linking Words
, if the individual
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
job, he will face many financial problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the situations make them to
deliquents
Correct your spelling
delinquents
delinquent
for
nuturing
Correct your spelling
nurturing
their family.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of alcohol
provoke
Change the verb form
provokes
show examples
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
. In
this
Linking Words
stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
the
person
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
no idea what he is doing. In
china
Change the capitalization
China
show examples
, one of the
survey
Change to a plural noun
surveys
show examples
noticed that most of the brutalities and
atrocitis
Correct your spelling
atrocities
committed because of the consumption of spirits.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people are enthusiastic
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
having more stuff. They are not satisfied with what they had.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
person
Use synonyms
desires more money to lead a rich life. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, the
person
Use synonyms
commit
Correct subject-verb agreement
commits
show examples
atrocious
crimes
Use synonyms
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
kidnap someone and
demanding
Wrong verb form
demands
show examples
their relatives for money.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, domestic violence and child
abusing
Replace the word
abuse
show examples
in the house and
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
, affect the juveniles to commit
deliquencies
Correct your spelling
delinquencies
. These
crimes
Use synonyms
may
ruined
Change the verb form
ruin
show examples
their future and reputation.
This
Linking Words
offence can be prevented by strict rules and regulations implemented by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. In conclusion, poverty is not the main reason for all
crimes
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with other issues
such
Linking Words
as violent
games
Use synonyms
, behavioural changes,
unemployement
Correct your spelling
unemployment
, alcohol consumption, greed,
agression
Correct your spelling
aggression
and personal problems are provoke them to become lawbreakers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: