IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The rise of remote working has transformed the traditional workplace. Do the advantages of remote working outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
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 technological era, there has been a notable shift
of
Change preposition
from
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 office
work
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 to online
work
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
this
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 situation has various merits and demerits; but, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Online
work
Use synonyms
 provides employees
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 convenience they can enjoy from home. They can
work
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 from their home space
while
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 managing their home duties. They not only can save travel expenses but
also
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 can save time, especially
parents
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for parents
show examples
 who have the responsibility to take care of children.
In addition
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 to
this
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, environmental pollution and congestion can be controlled with
this
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 approach. If people are not travelling for
work
Use synonyms
, there will be fewer vehicles on the road.
Consequently
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, it will mitigate the hurdle of pollution and traffic. The results citizens got during COVID-19—the clear sky and breathable air are a big example in
this
Linking Words
 scenario.
Moreover
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, it can
also
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 be beneficial for employers, too. They can reduce the burden of office space, electricity bills, and equipment costs. They can utilise
this
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 money on other focused areas like promotion, quality of products, and eco-friendly packaging, which are crucial to enhance the productivity and profitability of
work
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.
Therefore
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, it will assist them to manage expenses within budget.
However
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, we cannot deny the demerits.
Firstly
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, it requires a suitable internet connection. If the internet is down for a day, it will affect the working of businesses.
Secondly
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, some jobs demand a peaceful environment, especially customer service vacancies, which might not be possible in joint families and for people with kids. That means these barriers can impact the job security of individuals. In conclusion, in
this
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 electronic era, professionals
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 from websites without traditional office space.
This
Linking Words
 provides various advantages to employees and employers, too.
However
Linking Words
, the merits outweigh the demerits.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea of the essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your sentence structure to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Your introduction gives a clear view of your argument.
task achievement
The points about environmental benefits and employer savings are strong.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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