IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, some people say that government give money to unemployed people on monthly basis. What are the benefits and drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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One group claim that authorities provide
money
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 to those
people
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 who are at home with no
jobs
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 and they can do their monthly expenses. I will discuss the pros and cons of
this
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 scheme in the upcoming paragraphs with suitable examples.
To begin
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 with, the population is rising day by day in each and every nation, and
due to
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this
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, many
people
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 are not getting
jobs
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 in their fields and they are becoming jobless.
As a result
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, unemployed masses ask the
government
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 to give them
money
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 on a monthly basis so they can do their expenses properly
as well as
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, they can accomplish their fundamental needs
and
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apply
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can relieve themselves from stress. To cite an example, in India, some
people
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 started to commit suicide as they were not fetching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
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 because of high levels of unemployment,
then
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 the
government
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 started to give them monthly expenses, so they can stay with their families or either, they can start their small businesses by saving that
money
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.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 some negative effects of
this
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 scheme. As,
people
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 become lethargic just sitting at home because they already know that if they will not work
then
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 the
government
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 will pay
to
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apply
show examples
them, owing to
this
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 fact, they are not willing to do
jobs
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 as they want to stay free from any hassles. Another fact is that
,
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apply
show examples
 there are a lot of
jobs
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 available in different departments but folks do not try to get
jobs
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 as they do not want to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
struggle to obtain
jobs
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but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, if the
government
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 will stop to give them
money
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 on monthly basis
then
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, they can initiate to do hard work with small
jobs
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 and by passing time, they can able to get excellent
jobs
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 with good experience.
Overall
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, I will say that authorities should create more
jobs
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instead
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 of giving them
money
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,
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apply
show examples
 because it will help to grow countries economic conditions
as well as
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, they will know the value of hard work and earning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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